SUBJECT: Children's Books You'll Never See


From The Washington Post Style Invitational, in which readers were
asked to send in their worst ideas for Children’s Books:

* "You Were an Accident"

* * "You Are Different and That's Bad "

* * "The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables"

* * "Dad's New Wife Robert"

* * "Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share"

* * "Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book"

* * "The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"

* * "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"

* * "Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"

* * "All Cats Go to Hell"

* * "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"

* * "That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption"

* * "Grandpa Gets a Casket"


* * "The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator"

* * "The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy"

* * "Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way"

* * "Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"

* * "Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"

* * "Your Nightmares Are Real"

* * "Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School"

* * "Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things"

* * "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"

* * "Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff"

* * "Strangers Have the Best Candy"

* * "Some Kittens Can Fly!"

* * Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"

* * "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"

* * "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"

* * "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say 'God Did It'"

* * "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

* * "What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"

* * "Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"

* * "Bi-Curious George"

* * "Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets"

* * "The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"

* * "Babar Meets the Taxidermist"

* * "Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom's Purse"

* * "The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"

* * "How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementa School"

* * "Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"